Weight…Should I Be Mad?

In a recent post, I have talked about dating and how you should get back into the dating field. It’s exciting, it’s a fun experience, it’s something new. It’s great, it really is. However, I currently experienced something that I don’t know whether or not I should feel the way I do. I’ve had great dates since I got back in the dating field, but due to distance, being occupied with trying to find a job and other reasons, I have not been fully interested in dating. Looking back at my last date, it left me frustrated with men. Not all men, but some. Let me explain.

Dating while in college can be tricky. There’s so many guys on campus that you see every day, but you don’t know their relationship status. Being too shy to approach these campus cuties, I decided to try online dating. Plus, I wanted to date older guys. I downloaded Plenty of Fish, OkCupid, and the notorious Tinder. (Not all at once, that would have made me go insane!) I’ve met great guys on all three. However, my Tinder date was the last date I went on.

While swiping through a collection of all sorts of guys, I found one that I was very interested in. His name was Tom (not really, but for the sake of confidentiality, that’s what we’re going to call him.) He was tall, handsome, interested in literature and art like I am, and most importantly, he wasn’t looking for a one-night stand. So I swiped right. And guess what? We matched!

We talked every single day for about a month before we decided to meet each other. I got a really vibe from him. We held intellectual conversations about our favorite books, we had similar interests in music, and we talked for hours about art. He even sent good morning and good night texts. Match made in heaven, right? Next thing you know, we made plans for a date.

Our date was your typical first date… We went for dinner and a movie. Dinner was at La Fontana in Bloomsburg, and the movie was about a hotel. During our date, we continued having intellectual conversations, learned we had the same sense of humor, and never shut up the entire time we were together.

You’re probably wondering what ticked me off, right?

After our date, Tom opened the car door for me, hugged me goodbye and told me to expect another date soon. I was so excited! However, days went by and I didn’t hear a word from him. I could not figure out why he didn’t want to talk to me anymore. We just had the best date and now there was nothing but silence.

Nothing until last night. Tom finally responded, apologizing for not returning any of my messages. He also informed me of why he didn’t want to talk to me anymore. Reason being? Because I was “a little bigger than what he expected.” Are you kidding me?

I am not fat, but I am a woman with curves. I have an hour-glass figure that I am not ashamed of it. I wear clothes that fit and that compliment my body. I look exactly how a woman is supposed to look.

Does Tom know that I eat healthy and exercise every other day? No, and that should not be something you have to tell someone or explain to them. I look at myself every single day. I know what I look like. I’m not thrilled with it, but I’m working on it. 

What did he expect me to do? Write in my about me section warning men that I am curvy and a little bigger than the average woman? I’m sorry, but that is messed up.

Tom was 6’2, very skinny, had short blond, spiky hair, who used to have gauges in his ears. Besides his height, Tom did not fit my dream requirements for my perfect man. However, I’m able to look past all of that, see him for who he really is, accept him and move on from there. Not once did I think to lose interest in him based on his spiky hairstyle, the holes in his ears, or how skinny he was.

I really thought that he would be able to see past the curves of my body. He didn’t. Instead, he looked right past how well we clicked together, forgot my awesome, witty sense of humor, forgot about our common interests and the hour-long intellectual conversations we’ve had. He forgot all of the good in meSnapchat--6991555501205530572 because of what he saw on the outside.

Now you understand.

Part of me doesn’t want to date until I’m at my ideal size. At the same time though, someone should like you for who you are. Good looks are an added bonus, but it shouldn’t be your main focus.

Should I be mad? Absolutely not! I’m glad Tom and I did not work out.

Tom wasn’t the right guy, but here’s to finding someone who will accept me; curves and all!

(That’s me in the green!)

-T

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Eight Ways to be Happily Successful

Ever cross paths with somebody who seems like their life is nothing short of perfection? The answer to that is yes. We all know that one person whose life is full of unicorns and rainbows and they are just so chipper 24/7 that we cannot stand them as a human being. Yes, those people. Why do we hate them? Because they are motivated individuals who actually strive and accomplish their goals. They have every reason in the book to be that happy. So instead of wasting time on hating these successful people, what we should be doing instead is working on ourselves. The goal is to better yourself, as best as you can.

The next question is: how do you get there?

1. Write a list of things you want to accomplish. What are your goals? Do you dream of working for a publishing house? Do you want to become a famous author or country singer? Whatever it is that ignites flames in your soul, that is your goal. Write it down and put it somewhere where you can see it every day.

2. Research & take baby steps. Now that you know what your goals are, do you know what is involved in moving towards those goals? Where can you get experience in the publish industry? Have you taken writing courses? Are you throwing yourself out there and volunteering to sing at local events? By making these little steps towards your goals, you are building experience and are getting closer to your goals.

3. Eat breakfast. You’re probably thinking, “How is eating breakfast making me closer to achieving my goals?” You know the song and dance, but you never participate. We all know breakfast is the most important meal of the day, even though you don’t eat it. It revs up your metabolism, it gives you energy for the day, it curbs your appetite, etc. Start eating it. You’ll be happier as the day goes on. Besides, breakfast foods are delicious. There is nothing to regret.

4. Exercise. Again, you already know all of the benefits of exercising. However, this is huge in dealing with reaching goals and happiness. Picture this: you just graduated college. You’re sitting at your computer trying to find new places to apply for jobs. You find a job that wants to interview you. They want you to tell them how motivated you are in the work place. If you don’t look great, you probably don’t feel great either. Which means that while you’re trying to persuade this company into hiring you because you’re “so motivated,”, you most likely don’t look convincing. Think about “Misses My Life is Sunshine,” she probably takes care of herself. And if she’s exercising, she definitely feels great. Do the same. Do yourself a favor and get in the habit of exercising.

5. Get organized. Carry around a planner and make sure you include all of the important information. Nothing is more disappointing than wanting to be able to do something but calling and canceling your interview/ internship/ really important meeting that you should have went to because you couldn’t. This will save yourself from making ridiculous excuses as to why you missed an incredible opportunity.

6. Make time for your hobbies. Remember that piano that has been sitting in your living room with three years of dust coating it? Remember those blank canvases that are hiding somewhere in your house that you never painted? Or what about that basketball hoop that you make sure not to hit as you pull out of the driveway? One thing successful people do is make time for everything. Yes, they might be in college while working a job and an internship; however, at the end of the day, they are still happy because they still find a way to incorporate their hobbies over the course of a long day. If they can do it, why can’t you?

7. Sleep. While there are so many different things to do in the course of the day, sleep is one thing you do not want to miss out on. Make sure you get at least seven hours of sleep each night. You will wake up refreshed and with a positive attitude. Anything is possible with a positive attitude. How else can you get through the rest of your long day with a smile still on your face? Sleep!

And lastly,

8. Focus on yourself. Though Facebook is the first thing you check as soon as you unlock your phone, is it really that important? You do not need to be comparing yourself to what other people are doing. Who cares if Sandy just landed her dream job a week after college? Who cares if Tommy is now dating Morgan and they are living an unrealistic love life? What’s most important is what you are doing and if you are in the process of achieving your goals. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is the person you were the day before.

Overall, as long as you set goals for yourself and are trying to achieve them, that is all that matters. Know what you need to do and push yourself there. But don’t forget to do what makes you passionate. Make yourself a schedule and stick to it. Find the balance between work, social, private life and sleep, and you are golden. One day, you will be that person driving pessimists nuts because of how happy and successful you are. What are you waiting for?!

-T

How To Get Back in the Dating Field

So many times after a relationship ends, you or your lover (usually your lover) ends up with someone else immediately when the relationship is over. Whether they cheated or not, you can’t help but think of why and how they are in a brand new relationship already. It leaves you indulging in bottomless cartons of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. It also leaves you wasting an astronomical amount of tears and makes you question your existence. Instead, you should be throwing yourself out there getting the chance to meet someone new. Why? Because life is short and you’re wasting time. Besides, they moved on. So why can’t you?

You might find yourself saying things such as “I don’t want to be in a relationship right now,” “I’m never going to find anyone else,” or “I shouldn’t be focused on dating right now.” If you are, stop. Stop making excuses for yourself. You know very well that at the end of the day, you’re going to be thinking about how you wish you had someone to cuddle with while you’re lying in bed. You should be taking advantage of every second you have on this earth. You hear stories all the time about how two people randomly met while shopping or sitting in the waiting room while waiting for a doctor’s appointment. That could be you!

This leads to the million dollar question: how do you date? Unfortunately, you cannot just walk up to someone you think is attractive and tell them, “Hey, I think you’re cute. Let’s date!” Here are four tips from someone who recently just re-entered the dating field and is loving it.

1. Online Dating. Before you even have time to roll your eyes or completely dismiss it, give it a shot. First, we live in a world where people cannot breathe unless their cell phone is in their hand. And there are a lot of people out there on these sites, you are sure to find someone. Second, these websites let you showcase what you have to offer through pictures and answering questions. Who doesn’t like to talk about their self? Third, it is thrilling to see who you match up with. Nothing feels better than seeing someone who looks like they have their life together, is attractive and has an interesting profile, seems like you don’t have a shot with them, and then all of a sudden you get a notification saying you matched. It feels like Christmas, but instead of presents, you get boys/girls. And lastly, you never know who you are going to meet. You could easily meet the love of your life. If things go well between the two of you but you aren’t interested, at least you’ve made a friend.

One of the main fears with online dating that people have is that “what if they are a serial killer.” Easy solution. If you do decide to go on a date, make sure that you have a backup way to get home and always have friends nearby. If the first date is at his or her apartment, don’t go. If they are picking you up, make them pick you up at a different location that is not your house. Besides, it is not all that often that the whole serial killer thing happens, but it doesn’t hurt to have a backup plan.

  1. Have a friend set you up on a blind date. Who knows yourself just as good as you do? Your friends! Guaranteed they have attractive, single friends who have a great personality and similar interests. Even if your friends do set you up and you aren’t feeling 110% about the person, at least you have made another friend. At the same time, you never know if it is going to work out. This mutual friend could be your future husband or wife. At the other end of the stick, if it doesn’t turn out so well, at least you will have a good story to tell. It might not be funny the day of the date, but you will be able to look back later on it and have some laughs over the horrific date that never should have happened. And heck, you might even get a free dinner out of it! So why not?

 

  1. Go to your favorite place more often. Is that coffee shop downtown your favorite chill spot? So many people walk in and out during the course of the day. And if there isn’t many coffee shops in town, chances are the regulars will be there all the time. Introduce yourself and buy that cute girl her vanilla latte that she usually gets. Or that guy in the corner who works on his artwork daily, ask him to see his latest piece. Whether it is the gym, a bookstore, a gaming event, you name it, put yourself out there. You’re not going to meet new people if you sit in your bedroom every night with your cat.
  1. Say hi and smile to not so strange strangers. It doesn’t sound like much advice, but it will definitely help you along. If you see the same people at the same place every day, these strangers aren’t totally strangers. You recognize them. Instead of glaring down your “heart throb,” actually smile and say hi. It will show that you noticed them, shows that you are friendly, and proves that you are interested. Sounds a lot better than just making awkward eye contact and never getting anywhere with it. The best part of it is that it is completely painless. If you’re friendly and confident in it, you are going to get noticed and it would be difficult for them not to say hi back. Next time you see them, both of you will feel inclined to say more than hi.

Overall, dating is something that sound be exciting and fun. The best part about it is the fact that if it doesn’t go well, you don’t ever have to see that person again. You are not committed and it won’t be too late to back out. You will meet people of all kinds, and it truly is an awesome experience. With these four tips, it won’t be long until you are forgetting what your ex put you through. Forest Gump’s mother said it best, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.” There is a chance you can find you future lover. There is a chance you might go on the worst date of your life, but in the end, all of it makes for a great story. Get out there and date!

-T

A little about myself…

Hello there! My name is Tiffany! I am twenty-three years old. I recently graduated Bloomsburg University with a B.A. in English with a minor in Creative Writing. I am obsessed wSnapchat--2151211547123168095ith classic literature. (Jane Eyre is my all time favorite.) Besides reading, I also enjoy playing the piano and painting! Other loves of my life are rainy days, coffee, Disney movies, cats, awkward moments, and anything that involves laughter.

So why am I blogging?

I have a lot to say. I am going to be covering a variety of different subjects. Why? Because I naturally look at things at a different perspective than most people. There’s a lot of negatives in life, but if you look at them at the right angle, there will be a positive! And I fully believe in that. I will be covering anything from personal advice to literature reviews. I also believe in making yourself the best you can be. By creating a blog, I am one step closer towards my own goals! Therefore, the Delightful Daily!

I hope you like my posts and find them helpful! Enjoy!

-T