Single? 14 Reasons You Should Be Enjoying It

Let’s face it, it’s not easy being single when you’re twenty-three and all of your friends are engaged except for you. It’s also difficult when people question you as to why you’re not in a relationship. However, there is something that you have that they don’t; complete freedom! You can do whatever your heart desires without upsetting someone else.

There’s no reason to be moping around because you don’t have a special someone right now.

1. Treat yourself! Think of all the money you will be saving during the holidays, when you go to dinner, to the movies, amusement parks, etc. Instead of spending it on another person, treat yourself! Get that tattoo you’ve been dying to get! Save up for that new truck! Need a new wardrobe? Go buy it!

2. Keep plans with your friends! If hanging out with your best friend was torture for your ex and (s)he made you cancel plans multiple times; worry no more! Hang out with your friends everyday! They will appreciate it!

3. Dress for yourself! Don’t feel like dressing nice today and putting makeup on? Then don’t! You can dress however you want.

4. Shave? Nah! Have stubble on your chin or your legs? Okay. Don’t feel like shaving? Don’t! As long as you’re comfortable with yourself, I support you!

5. Shop ’til you drop! Yes, this falls under treating yourself. But… you no longer have to worry about avoiding your favorite stores because your partner doesn’t want to spend hours in there. Let that sink in for a second.

6. Movies. Remember that rom-com that you wanted to see months ago in theaters, but your ex refused to go see it? Buy it on DVD! Watch it over and over again! Send a Snapchat to your ex saying how great your movie is! Okay, maybe you shouldn’t send the Snapchat…

7. Story time! Remember that John Green book you purchased months ago? The one that is sitting on your night stand? The book you never opened that now has a layer of dust coating it? Yeah, that one. You now have all the time in the world to read! Make some tea, grab your book and enjoy it!

8. Don’t feel like going out? Great! Admit it, you went to the bars every single weekend just to please your ex. (Or to let other girls know your man is taken.) Stay in for a relaxing night. Have your own movie night, drink some wine, and get cozy with no pants on!

9. Sing loud and proud. I dare you to sing every song that comes on the radio! You’re going to have so much fun doing it! Why? Because no one else is there to tell you to shut up, that your voice is horrible, or that you are giving them a headache.

10. Food. Remember when you used to eat salads every time your partner took you out for dinner? Remember how you hated salads but you ate them to make yourself look good? Stop it. Instead of starving yourself and munching on rabbit food, get that steak. And if you’re still hungry afterwards, get desert.

11. Enjoy that empty bed! Sleep spread-eagle, diagonally, in a ball, or however you want. That space is all yours, baby! Get comfy!

12. Sweet dreams! You can sleep in peace knowing that you don’t have to worry about someone and question everything. Going to bed happy is all you need to sleep like an angel at night.

13. Travel. Go somewhere new. Make new memories and learn new things. Sometimes you need to get away to clear your mind. Save up some money, get your passport, throw a dart on a map and wherever it lands, go there! Or hop in the car one weekend and go for a road trip. It will be good for you!

14. Do what makes you happy! Go spend a day at the gulf course, you need it. Teach yourself a new song on the piano. Sign up for an art class. Grab your friends and go hit up the new micro-brewery in town. You deserve it.

This list can go on forever. The point is, you need to be happy. There’s no reason to be upset about being single. Give it time and I’m sure you will find someone. But for right now, why don’t you enjoy the ride?!

-T

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Weight…Should I Be Mad?

In a recent post, I have talked about dating and how you should get back into the dating field. It’s exciting, it’s a fun experience, it’s something new. It’s great, it really is. However, I currently experienced something that I don’t know whether or not I should feel the way I do. I’ve had great dates since I got back in the dating field, but due to distance, being occupied with trying to find a job and other reasons, I have not been fully interested in dating. Looking back at my last date, it left me frustrated with men. Not all men, but some. Let me explain.

Dating while in college can be tricky. There’s so many guys on campus that you see every day, but you don’t know their relationship status. Being too shy to approach these campus cuties, I decided to try online dating. Plus, I wanted to date older guys. I downloaded Plenty of Fish, OkCupid, and the notorious Tinder. (Not all at once, that would have made me go insane!) I’ve met great guys on all three. However, my Tinder date was the last date I went on.

While swiping through a collection of all sorts of guys, I found one that I was very interested in. His name was Tom (not really, but for the sake of confidentiality, that’s what we’re going to call him.) He was tall, handsome, interested in literature and art like I am, and most importantly, he wasn’t looking for a one-night stand. So I swiped right. And guess what? We matched!

We talked every single day for about a month before we decided to meet each other. I got a really vibe from him. We held intellectual conversations about our favorite books, we had similar interests in music, and we talked for hours about art. He even sent good morning and good night texts. Match made in heaven, right? Next thing you know, we made plans for a date.

Our date was your typical first date… We went for dinner and a movie. Dinner was at La Fontana in Bloomsburg, and the movie was about a hotel. During our date, we continued having intellectual conversations, learned we had the same sense of humor, and never shut up the entire time we were together.

You’re probably wondering what ticked me off, right?

After our date, Tom opened the car door for me, hugged me goodbye and told me to expect another date soon. I was so excited! However, days went by and I didn’t hear a word from him. I could not figure out why he didn’t want to talk to me anymore. We just had the best date and now there was nothing but silence.

Nothing until last night. Tom finally responded, apologizing for not returning any of my messages. He also informed me of why he didn’t want to talk to me anymore. Reason being? Because I was “a little bigger than what he expected.” Are you kidding me?

I am not fat, but I am a woman with curves. I have an hour-glass figure that I am not ashamed of it. I wear clothes that fit and that compliment my body. I look exactly how a woman is supposed to look.

Does Tom know that I eat healthy and exercise every other day? No, and that should not be something you have to tell someone or explain to them. I look at myself every single day. I know what I look like. I’m not thrilled with it, but I’m working on it. 

What did he expect me to do? Write in my about me section warning men that I am curvy and a little bigger than the average woman? I’m sorry, but that is messed up.

Tom was 6’2, very skinny, had short blond, spiky hair, who used to have gauges in his ears. Besides his height, Tom did not fit my dream requirements for my perfect man. However, I’m able to look past all of that, see him for who he really is, accept him and move on from there. Not once did I think to lose interest in him based on his spiky hairstyle, the holes in his ears, or how skinny he was.

I really thought that he would be able to see past the curves of my body. He didn’t. Instead, he looked right past how well we clicked together, forgot my awesome, witty sense of humor, forgot about our common interests and the hour-long intellectual conversations we’ve had. He forgot all of the good in meSnapchat--6991555501205530572 because of what he saw on the outside.

Now you understand.

Part of me doesn’t want to date until I’m at my ideal size. At the same time though, someone should like you for who you are. Good looks are an added bonus, but it shouldn’t be your main focus.

Should I be mad? Absolutely not! I’m glad Tom and I did not work out.

Tom wasn’t the right guy, but here’s to finding someone who will accept me; curves and all!

(That’s me in the green!)

-T

How To Get Back in the Dating Field

So many times after a relationship ends, you or your lover (usually your lover) ends up with someone else immediately when the relationship is over. Whether they cheated or not, you can’t help but think of why and how they are in a brand new relationship already. It leaves you indulging in bottomless cartons of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. It also leaves you wasting an astronomical amount of tears and makes you question your existence. Instead, you should be throwing yourself out there getting the chance to meet someone new. Why? Because life is short and you’re wasting time. Besides, they moved on. So why can’t you?

You might find yourself saying things such as “I don’t want to be in a relationship right now,” “I’m never going to find anyone else,” or “I shouldn’t be focused on dating right now.” If you are, stop. Stop making excuses for yourself. You know very well that at the end of the day, you’re going to be thinking about how you wish you had someone to cuddle with while you’re lying in bed. You should be taking advantage of every second you have on this earth. You hear stories all the time about how two people randomly met while shopping or sitting in the waiting room while waiting for a doctor’s appointment. That could be you!

This leads to the million dollar question: how do you date? Unfortunately, you cannot just walk up to someone you think is attractive and tell them, “Hey, I think you’re cute. Let’s date!” Here are four tips from someone who recently just re-entered the dating field and is loving it.

1. Online Dating. Before you even have time to roll your eyes or completely dismiss it, give it a shot. First, we live in a world where people cannot breathe unless their cell phone is in their hand. And there are a lot of people out there on these sites, you are sure to find someone. Second, these websites let you showcase what you have to offer through pictures and answering questions. Who doesn’t like to talk about their self? Third, it is thrilling to see who you match up with. Nothing feels better than seeing someone who looks like they have their life together, is attractive and has an interesting profile, seems like you don’t have a shot with them, and then all of a sudden you get a notification saying you matched. It feels like Christmas, but instead of presents, you get boys/girls. And lastly, you never know who you are going to meet. You could easily meet the love of your life. If things go well between the two of you but you aren’t interested, at least you’ve made a friend.

One of the main fears with online dating that people have is that “what if they are a serial killer.” Easy solution. If you do decide to go on a date, make sure that you have a backup way to get home and always have friends nearby. If the first date is at his or her apartment, don’t go. If they are picking you up, make them pick you up at a different location that is not your house. Besides, it is not all that often that the whole serial killer thing happens, but it doesn’t hurt to have a backup plan.

  1. Have a friend set you up on a blind date. Who knows yourself just as good as you do? Your friends! Guaranteed they have attractive, single friends who have a great personality and similar interests. Even if your friends do set you up and you aren’t feeling 110% about the person, at least you have made another friend. At the same time, you never know if it is going to work out. This mutual friend could be your future husband or wife. At the other end of the stick, if it doesn’t turn out so well, at least you will have a good story to tell. It might not be funny the day of the date, but you will be able to look back later on it and have some laughs over the horrific date that never should have happened. And heck, you might even get a free dinner out of it! So why not?

 

  1. Go to your favorite place more often. Is that coffee shop downtown your favorite chill spot? So many people walk in and out during the course of the day. And if there isn’t many coffee shops in town, chances are the regulars will be there all the time. Introduce yourself and buy that cute girl her vanilla latte that she usually gets. Or that guy in the corner who works on his artwork daily, ask him to see his latest piece. Whether it is the gym, a bookstore, a gaming event, you name it, put yourself out there. You’re not going to meet new people if you sit in your bedroom every night with your cat.
  1. Say hi and smile to not so strange strangers. It doesn’t sound like much advice, but it will definitely help you along. If you see the same people at the same place every day, these strangers aren’t totally strangers. You recognize them. Instead of glaring down your “heart throb,” actually smile and say hi. It will show that you noticed them, shows that you are friendly, and proves that you are interested. Sounds a lot better than just making awkward eye contact and never getting anywhere with it. The best part of it is that it is completely painless. If you’re friendly and confident in it, you are going to get noticed and it would be difficult for them not to say hi back. Next time you see them, both of you will feel inclined to say more than hi.

Overall, dating is something that sound be exciting and fun. The best part about it is the fact that if it doesn’t go well, you don’t ever have to see that person again. You are not committed and it won’t be too late to back out. You will meet people of all kinds, and it truly is an awesome experience. With these four tips, it won’t be long until you are forgetting what your ex put you through. Forest Gump’s mother said it best, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.” There is a chance you can find you future lover. There is a chance you might go on the worst date of your life, but in the end, all of it makes for a great story. Get out there and date!

-T