The Ultimate Guide to Being Happy

One question that I am constantly asked is, “How are you always happy?” My answer is simple: it’s all about perspective. If you have a great perspective on life, it’s so easy to be happy on a daily basis.

Please know that my life is nowhere near perfect. At 23, I currently live with my parents and I’m still on the hunt for my first “big girl” job. Also, I recently started waitressing again because I have about a hundred dollars to my name. I can’t tell you the last time I went shopping or was able to go on vacation, but I am happy. I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach, a lot of people who care about me, I’m doing what I need to move forward with my life, and I have a future that is going to be a billion times better than the present.

Here is some of the best advice I can offer about being happy:

Accept that people are different. People are different in so many ways.  Some people are skinnier than others while some people are bigger. Some people are religious while others are atheists. Same goes to politics, race, gender, the clothes people wear, etc. How people keep forgetting this is beyond me. It makes me want to puke that people hate one another because of their different opinions and beliefs. Accept it and move forward.

For example, I don’t like the color orange. I think it’s a gross color. Does that mean it’s okay to not like someone because orange is their favorite color? No. Should I call them degrading names and tell them they are wrong because I don’t like orange and they do? No. Does their liking of orange have anything to do directly with me? No. If someone likes orange, does that define who that person is? Absolutely not. See what I’m getting at? So stop slut shaming, gender shaming, sexual orientation shaming, fat/skinny shaming, race shaming, you name it. Stop it. Once you accept that people look, think, and believe differently, life becomes a lot easier.

Stop comparing yourself to others. All of my friends are engaged except for me. Some of my friends have already started their dream career. One of my best friends is spending her summer in Hawaii. I used to be extremely jealous that I didn’t have a ring on my finger, the love of my life by my side, land a job, etc. Boo hoo, right? It didn’t take long to realize how ridiculous I sounded. I can have all of that stuff too; when the time comes. Instead of being jealous, how about being happy for my friends?! I suggest you do the same!

Get rid of the negative people in your life. The only thing that a Debbie Downer is good at is bringing people down. You don’t need that in your life. For example, does your Facebook have a lot of daily complainers? Turn off their notifications. Or, say you have a long day at work ahead of you. If you or your co-workers are complaining the entire time, work is going to go even slower. Be the person to lighten things up and inspire them to cheer up. “Time flies when you’re having fun,” so make it a good day!

Do more of what you love and dedicate time to it. Make time for the things you love. Don’t get caught up in working 24/7. Dedicate a small amount of time each day to something you like. If that’s taking away too much time, try once a week. Dedicate Saturday mornings to going kayaking. Or take up a painting class every Thursday night. I’ve started playing the piano again, and let me tell you…it’s amazing! Doing this will make you question why you stopped in the first place!

Become an opti-realist. There is nothing wrong with being optimistic about something. However, you need a good amount of realism in your life to balance being happy. For example, you want to become a graphic designer but you have never created anything. That being said, you apply for an open position at your favorite company that you’ve dreamed of working at. It’s great that you have this dream; but, are you really going to get the job? Make sure you are doing what you need to do in order to get where you want to be!

Explore. Try something new. Doesn’t matter if it’s food, a new reading spot, or a new place to travel. By trying new things, it keeps life interesting!

Axel (my fur nephew) and I are happy campers!

Accept who you are and own it! There are some things in this world that you cannot change about yourself. My one eye is slightly smaller than the other. My laugh turns into a cackle if something is really funny. I trip up the steps but never down them. I crack up at my own jokes. Really awkward things happen to me and I can’t do anything but laugh. Five years ago, I was humiliated by these things. Today, I wouldn’t change these things about myself for the world. Know who you are and fall in love with yourself. You’ll sleep in peace at night and wake up on the right side of the bed in the morning!

If you do these things, I promise you will have happier days! Not every day is going to be filled with rainbows and sunshine. Keep an open mind, accept that life happens, and move forward.

Don’t forget, “Today’s a good day to have a great day!”

-T

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Eight Ways to be Happily Successful

Ever cross paths with somebody who seems like their life is nothing short of perfection? The answer to that is yes. We all know that one person whose life is full of unicorns and rainbows and they are just so chipper 24/7 that we cannot stand them as a human being. Yes, those people. Why do we hate them? Because they are motivated individuals who actually strive and accomplish their goals. They have every reason in the book to be that happy. So instead of wasting time on hating these successful people, what we should be doing instead is working on ourselves. The goal is to better yourself, as best as you can.

The next question is: how do you get there?

1. Write a list of things you want to accomplish. What are your goals? Do you dream of working for a publishing house? Do you want to become a famous author or country singer? Whatever it is that ignites flames in your soul, that is your goal. Write it down and put it somewhere where you can see it every day.

2. Research & take baby steps. Now that you know what your goals are, do you know what is involved in moving towards those goals? Where can you get experience in the publish industry? Have you taken writing courses? Are you throwing yourself out there and volunteering to sing at local events? By making these little steps towards your goals, you are building experience and are getting closer to your goals.

3. Eat breakfast. You’re probably thinking, “How is eating breakfast making me closer to achieving my goals?” You know the song and dance, but you never participate. We all know breakfast is the most important meal of the day, even though you don’t eat it. It revs up your metabolism, it gives you energy for the day, it curbs your appetite, etc. Start eating it. You’ll be happier as the day goes on. Besides, breakfast foods are delicious. There is nothing to regret.

4. Exercise. Again, you already know all of the benefits of exercising. However, this is huge in dealing with reaching goals and happiness. Picture this: you just graduated college. You’re sitting at your computer trying to find new places to apply for jobs. You find a job that wants to interview you. They want you to tell them how motivated you are in the work place. If you don’t look great, you probably don’t feel great either. Which means that while you’re trying to persuade this company into hiring you because you’re “so motivated,”, you most likely don’t look convincing. Think about “Misses My Life is Sunshine,” she probably takes care of herself. And if she’s exercising, she definitely feels great. Do the same. Do yourself a favor and get in the habit of exercising.

5. Get organized. Carry around a planner and make sure you include all of the important information. Nothing is more disappointing than wanting to be able to do something but calling and canceling your interview/ internship/ really important meeting that you should have went to because you couldn’t. This will save yourself from making ridiculous excuses as to why you missed an incredible opportunity.

6. Make time for your hobbies. Remember that piano that has been sitting in your living room with three years of dust coating it? Remember those blank canvases that are hiding somewhere in your house that you never painted? Or what about that basketball hoop that you make sure not to hit as you pull out of the driveway? One thing successful people do is make time for everything. Yes, they might be in college while working a job and an internship; however, at the end of the day, they are still happy because they still find a way to incorporate their hobbies over the course of a long day. If they can do it, why can’t you?

7. Sleep. While there are so many different things to do in the course of the day, sleep is one thing you do not want to miss out on. Make sure you get at least seven hours of sleep each night. You will wake up refreshed and with a positive attitude. Anything is possible with a positive attitude. How else can you get through the rest of your long day with a smile still on your face? Sleep!

And lastly,

8. Focus on yourself. Though Facebook is the first thing you check as soon as you unlock your phone, is it really that important? You do not need to be comparing yourself to what other people are doing. Who cares if Sandy just landed her dream job a week after college? Who cares if Tommy is now dating Morgan and they are living an unrealistic love life? What’s most important is what you are doing and if you are in the process of achieving your goals. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is the person you were the day before.

Overall, as long as you set goals for yourself and are trying to achieve them, that is all that matters. Know what you need to do and push yourself there. But don’t forget to do what makes you passionate. Make yourself a schedule and stick to it. Find the balance between work, social, private life and sleep, and you are golden. One day, you will be that person driving pessimists nuts because of how happy and successful you are. What are you waiting for?!

-T